?? stories
DISMAL, DARKSTAR@LINUX.COM
Press here. Music for this scene should work.
"Violence, too much, and all the blood shed in our family.
It is said that before I was born, one of my brothers
killed another over your rape, not that you are the Helen
of Troy that the Greeks are so fond of talking about. Yes,
I had a good education. Absolom who was born before me,
he was the beautiful one. Ammon, well we know about him
and it is better left unsaid. Now, Solomon, he is my father's
favorite and the priests' and profits.
We have Joab on our side and the people. They know
David, the king is old and the
kingdom is about to slide off his shoulders. Four half
brothers. Two are dead, and yet he names no successor...."
I watch Adonijah, my little brother by some fifteenn
years. I was barely a kid of fourteen, and yes that is
still a kid in many ways though I had the body of a woman,
when Ammon had his way with me. I am nearly thirty now and
married for two and a half years. Adonijah helped arrange
the match. Money covered for the fact that I was sullied.
The widower wanted help with his children and had no sisters.
I was it. We are of different tribes. There is one child
between my new husband and I, and there may yet be more.
I love this little brother of mine. I helped raise him
like a mother; for what else was there for me to do,
returned home, damaged goods as it were. We sit under the
grape vines, family, the only and best family I have. My
mother is a concubine and where was my father when I
needed him?
My favorite little brother continues:
"Back in Jerusalem they have crowned Solomon king.
People still listen to my father despite the fact that he has
not been able to rule his own house since his children
were grown. People want pomp and circumstance, but it is
a show, an ugly show of politics. I have pleaded for my
life but now it is my turn to live like you, sister. It
can't be....not for me. I was meant for something better."
"You want help?" I ask. I already know the answer and
there is nothing in the world I would not do for my most
favorite little brother. Adonijah nods, and I think of
Jael and Siseral long ago. I too know the stories. I am
no Jael but perhaps there are other ways.
<
of the gap, of religion, of dark Julu-Jennifer on the approach?
I can imagine a wonderful landing-gear approaching the ground
like a bride approaching the bridegroom for the first time,
sheaves of wheat in her hands, gold diadems in her braided hair,
walking across the furrowed ground, holding the world at bay,
o Benjamin
the machinery is protracted if not the cause of or discomfort...when Cybele reminds me that there are no replacement for her imaginative disorders something causes an avowed homing device to be certain motion is undetectable.
SCREAMING AGAINST CYBELE, JENNIFER BEGI
Jump out of this mess ... egos ...
fortunate matter changing exactly
gravitation till frowning at the
less than miracle, calmly reinstate.
name: anything.
email address: anywhere.
and for you, anytime, she said, her bodice heaving, almost bursting, her legs astride the swollen Vales of Goral
1~Cybele stalking, moves with the form of a Lioness,
Purr's of Love & War penetrate into routed electronic hierarchies. Frolicking energy, you will not escape from here, inside TrAce's Lair. Unpacking into forms,
>>You and I<<, will unmask. Cyborgically. Your pain is within the pulses, Your modem winds, Turning for me.
Your ASCII courts my Assembly
0~Alan in the night, hears the sorrow of stumbling serfdom,
Regret, we must regret. The marrow of the bone becomes hollow. The lost wander wearily through the wires, gosh darnit, look you. My ears pound, the noise will not displace itself. The battle invades. Equilibrium has no equality, my heart sinks into your holes, in the net.
Emptiness not despised, nor trusted, for you also might
fall through...
All ways are extreme, in the sorrowful night
tending towards Gideon, towards battle-worn brethren,
veterans run rampant, Moors moving manfully
towards towers terrifying across captured lands.
One onerous battles bent baneful and boastful;
knights kneel and fight, their swithen and swords
caught culling their dreams, drawn down their drowning,
and all Alans ask mercy, all Scots scatter screaming.
Jennifer, Julu judge not stern and just sentence;
the blades' bright becoming earns runnings of red blood,
blooms of men's mewling, cries from bleak dungeon;
now Jennifer, weary, strikes sword against strong stone,
now Julu unjustly fares fearfully frightened,
flies from fierce Alans their foes and their kinsmen,
forever flee heros from lost lands and labor.
O Julu! O Jennifer! have patience and prescience,
return to resounding cheer in the mead-hall,
lone sparrow is flying one end to the other:
thus the life of a man, from darkness to darkness,
thus a moment of warmth in the Hill-Vales of Goral.
UH-OHTHAT'S BETTER
NO, THAT'S NOT BETTERTHIS IS OR WE'RE FORCED TO WRITE AGAINST THE SLOPE OF GORAL'S VALES
To Take Stock. Vales which affect, these runners striking out what remains of adventure. There were rumors of a dragon in the next village; Nikuko wheeled her white stallion around, light flashing from her dark eyes. We've got to stop them, she cried; if the village is destroyed, the scrolls will be lost, and the course of history will be changed forever. You won't be back, do you mean that, said Julu, worried. That's about it, said Nikuko; we've got to do what we can, and leave the rest to God.
CLICK HERE TO CONTRIBUTE
Well I married me a wife, she's been trouble all my life
Run me out in the cold rain and snow
Rain and snow, run me out in the cold rain and snow
Well she's coming down the stairs, combin' back her yellow hair
And I ain't goin be treated this ol' way
Well she went up to her room where she sang her faithful tune
Well I'm goin where those chilly winds don`t blow
MOVING DAY
hoping Jennifer's asks. Signed sense.
- Oh NOT Jennifer sense. everywhere .
Jennifer's ways
Jenn-Julu, born-of-machine-and-woman
Jennifer
Jennifer reaches for her controls and resets herself
Jennifer's inversion is Nikuko, they swallow each
Jennifer-Julu (if +1 -1 +1 -1 continue, what is th, JJ@JJ.ORG
Jennifer-Julu arrives.
Jennifer-Julu closes her eyes, and the scene ends.
Jennifer-Julu says, "And so does he - but he wants to SEE it, you know. He
Jennifer-Julu says, "Here's Alan, fast asleep."
Jennifer-Julu says, "I know"
Jennifer-Julu says, "I think he wants us to be Alan."
Jennifer-Julu says, "No, let him be. "
Jennifer-Julu says, "Oh yes. He can feel it."
Jennifer-Julu settles and enfolds all of them
Jennifer-Julu smiles at ASondheim.
Jennifer-Julu smiles.
Julu-Jennifer arrives.
Julu-Jennifer says, "But we are already Alan!"
Julu-Jennifer says, "It's happening now, isn't it? I can feel it. I'm sure
Julu-Jennifer says, "shall we wake him?"
Julu-Jennifer says, "what does he want of us, do you think?"
Julu-Jennifer settles and enfolds Alan
Julu-Jennifer smiles and sleeps.
Just one small plea. Many of you know Nikulo and Jennifer. You've known
Multipled, Jennifer-Julu meme. It propagates. It propagates itself, in our
My point is that I wouldn't be here now if it weren't for Jennifer -
Nikuko, Nikuko@oita.com.jp (it's really me, Jennifer!)
Oh Jennifer with many souls.
Think of Jennifer all alone, Julu-virus slowly transforming her, oh oh oh,
ground. That turned out to be Jennifer and some brief musings about the
inside of it there is a Jennifer, running better with all the comfort-
scarcity reaffirms proper characterizations..but in her shoe Jennifer
speech, via our vision. Jennifer-Julu
text to burrow into like Jennifer's bed, pillow-covered, huddled deep
what is happening to Jennifer? Wires beneath the skin, slight sounds
kind . Julu (it's . ) s/he - .
Texts Julu@redhouse.gov "I WOULD
I wandered looking everywhere for you, Julu, even among these forms;
Jenn-Julu, born-of-machine-and-woman
Jennifer-Julu (if +1 -1 +1 -1 continue, what is th, JJ@JJ.ORG
Jennifer-Julu arrives.
Jennifer-Julu closes her eyes, and the scene ends.
Jennifer-Julu says, "And so does he - but he wants to SEE it, you know. He
Jennifer-Julu says, "Here's Alan, fast asleep."
Jennifer-Julu says, "I know"
Jennifer-Julu says, "I think he wants us to be Alan."
Jennifer-Julu says, "No, let him be. "
Jennifer-Julu says, "Oh yes. He can feel it."
Jennifer-Julu settles and enfolds all of them
Jennifer-Julu smiles at ASondheim.
Jennifer-Julu smiles.
Julu, Julu@redhouse.gov
Julu-Jennifer arrives.
Julu-Jennifer says, "But we are already Alan!"
Julu-Jennifer says, "It's happening now, isn't it? I can feel it. I'm sure
Julu-Jennifer says, "shall we wake him?"
Julu-Jennifer says, "what does he want of us, do you think?"
Julu-Jennifer settles and enfolds Alan
Julu-Jennifer smiles and sleeps.
Multipled, Jennifer-Julu meme. It propagates. It propagates itself, in our
Think of Jennifer all alone, Julu-virus slowly transforming her, oh oh oh,
now. As someone once said, maybe it was Julu, "Never feed the hand that
rabbits and all. I ran across Julu in the light
speech, via our vision. Jennifer-Julu
7e, cry and arm Nikuko, .
1~Nikuko agonizes for herself to be among the cyborg-ettes:
Jennifer's inversion is Nikuko, they swallow each
Nikuko, Nikuko@oita.com.jp
Nikuko, Nikuko@oita.com.jp (it's really me, Jennifer!)
Jennifer-Julu says, "Here's Alan, fast asleep."
Jennifer-Julu says, "I think he wants us to be Alan."
Julu-Jennifer says, "But we are already Alan!"
Julu-Jennifer settles and enfolds Alan
this bloke Alan that we've heard so
we know what we got:
there's rarely much to discuss here so things can get ugly. we stand around, milking the moment, thinking of our special nature. that can tire you, wear you right down. you'll find yourself eventually calling home, or what's left of it. when you do, the surprises that await will seem tepid, like last week. still, we got together on this island, wearing workboots and opening odd cans. sometimes, we find what we need: beans, soup, beer. sometimes, just a can of worms. the idea of a can of worms comes and goes; eventually, I will wrestle with it, surely the others will, as well. that's our main exercise, after all. looking across the one street on this island, we develop our respective world views. oddly, we all think the same thing. this is a prism, this place. the sun has taken its time, and we have taken ours.
strangers brought together by the war
Jennifer and Alan lived together but neither of them could stand being away from the fighting. They came to share the historic moment and the adrenaline rush of war.
Alan said getting to the front was like a superb Nintendo game. Jennifer said she thought she might be pregnant.
Nikuko said she was told she had a twenty per cent chance of survival if she crossed an open field, which she did. I like that kind of shit. Its better than drugs and as good as sex. Are you going to kiss me or not?
Alan said for $1,500 they would get him to the front. He didnt have the money but he was gambling he could earn the cash with the footage he would take when he got there.
Jennifer watched Nikuko as she lay on the grass listening to her Walkman on a break from planting land mines. An attractive 17-year-old, she wore the black on black uniform of the Delta forces and a chain with a bullet around her neck.
the rhythm of the war grew faster in the last days of May
she takes the pulse
Alan wept when he found out the boy was dead. He said the photograph was for sale for $2,000.
Nikuko spent the night at the barracks drinking cognac with the commanders, trying to persuade them to let her go to the front. Maybe they just want to fuck me, she said; it wouldnt be the worst thing that has ever happened.
Jennifer went up to the border. She said there were a lot of writers there waiting for refugees to cross. They were all talking about what great stories they had written. To them my life was just a story. She said she was going to get her uniform and her boots and leave for a training camp.
Jennifer has had her period; she wasnt carrying Alans child after all. I would slaughter, she said. I would kill a person with my bare hands.
Scared, said Alan. Fucking scared. But Ill get used to it. Thats part of the war. You see how much you love your life.
and what they told each other about who they were
[Acknowledgment: piece on Kosovo by Guy Lawson, GQ magazine, Aug. 1999]
Alan was scared of the war; he'd never go. He would have gone in World War II, he tells himself, that was a 'just,' an 'honorable' war, brought about by the lack of justice, lack of honor. The world still seems clear in his dreams but he's afraid at times to cross the street, even to piss in front of other men; he's afraid practically of his shadow, writing uselessly out of his fear.
He looks up to Jennifer and Nikuko; he may have thought of them in the first place, but they've had the good sense, in the sense of the English, to move on. He feels he's sleeping in the slaughterhouse, sleeping on knives. Nikuko plants bombs and looks beautiful, and even with the roar of shrapnel in her ears, she's oddly at peace, thinking of love, not war, and hoping, hoping, hoping for a better world.
It was true when Jennifer was PMSing she carried the fierce beginnings of sixy Herculisis in the special body part that made her Miss and not a Mr.and and the force of such beginnings could crack the backs of sixty black stallions at one blow and I mean glancing blow. Unknown fact she was a major factor in the outcome of the Boer War. I can say no more about it.More amazingly and to the delight of horse lovers everywhere she has been pregnant for two years. Did you know that Alan/ She isn't showing yet because Jennifers gestate for 40 months and 40 years so she's about a tenth of the way I'd say. No idea who the sperm doner may be or if he's even from this galaxy. But listen, don't tell a soul, and don't tell her I told you, and don't mention that she looks radiant ot plump or anything like that I mean as if you would as if you noticed such things or as if you had a sense of humour. But I think she's craving a belly scratch or two.
Ideme . . . ideme . . .
Grimm-mese lenne llyen
is lenne mint a az a
baba! a az výgni a te
az fel* balra, balra!
Elre! Hha hha el a
ell az a nem az vissza
ez a *r a Hipp-hopp ha
el hiszi a piszi hahaha!
Ejnye, ejnye! Mit ez a
az be *n a add mýr az a
nýz Haho! nem hallom! Ez
a hoz de ez a hýz hallassz
arsz-e hol? a Az a hýz az
hýza be a kamrýba Hol, te
van a fal alatt lak a Julu
neked a puha a az *n is nad
a do dediny Jen na dediny
a volal a navar mi sa zo na
a sme ze si zasa nýs! a jen
za si od a volal mu len nohy
a samý diera jemu sa ze je z
roz slzka husi z stary Julu
za roz ze z teraz s Jen zrazu
zo a po sa za a sa v a Julu ho
lebo sa ti ho! Jen-Julu sa mu
a do a bol ho nie Jen-Len na
a mu mal a uz ho nebolo na dediny
Jen v ich n Julu az sem na aj
dnes na a sa husi bolo na sa a
po sa do roboty sa darili Mlyn
na Mal i na a Len sa sme sa uz
mohli sa a si spytal sa na ným
dedo o A mne sa a dývali zavolali
a ným a uz a A sa ich na A uz
sa si ným jen a jen A z a si a
sa a mu zeme mi kozy zazenie som
sa vlka nemým mi Julu sa v inom
dome sa mal raz zasa zle mu i do
inde zas delil sa so v nemal I No
nemal lebo ze za na A Hore sa Kym
za na po a cez si so na a aby mnoho
nosili sa a s zmizli v v si a kym
sa sa a az v si ich na nemal s v
sa plota a na sa neo sa, ze ho sem
sme Kamarýti, a ho sem dovedie?
sa mlady kapitýn a jen oni az z
uloha smel A aj v sa a S sa uz
raz mu smutno v cez na sa A do za
sa babu s po a my za ako z nosil
na na a o sa do Na ne a zas nov*
aby sa v mohlo i/z/a z si mil do
a s sa huncti do dediny dom sa na
a za a za sa pekne ich A sa mý len
A ani nemý ným A si sa s nami nemýte
nm byt ným ným hen z smutno byt
si A do v a sa za si ho do o/a s/a
uz na ani sa za byt nie byt s sa
a za do a na a si nohy ho az na Z
si do na a sa sd az zbadal, ze ho
do tu nie je by ho a si Miso a Pýn
kapitýn sme si ným si vým je tu!
nos sd ho tu si sa mi si si ma po
nohe sa som si ma a si a na na Tu
za a ho i volal ze zly mu musel si
Do sa do na a za sa mu, az sa za A
mu za za nimi a tu ze s z ich ich
sa mu ho a za a sa A ze je za na a
sa na z uz i ze ne, a ze zle ho ani
s nimi A No ho a a uz na sa, z sa A
sa ho si s nimi Hej, hore dolu hore
na ulici z sa roz ývala zlia am roz
o zlom muchu sa A mal* sen o Na mi
z hory nimi i Na mi som a som som do
tmy u nemýme a od do sily Za ich robotu
ich ich dennym na ne z nemým si, ze
ich remenom mu syna za sa sa u mu sa
ti ne i mýme A ze je ju a i mu do v na
za by sa sa sa misu na i v si sa ho
ani mý ze ani na i na a sa A u si sa
na Do sa ani a mu sa sa len pani sa
sa ani slova o, o A s o ho ho a A za
zvalilia na ze Tu ze mu padla na sa na
a remenom zaraz mu aby ich z ich a mi
A/Z mojho Fuj! Fuj! Fuj! sa z ani v na
sluha vým u neho mu výsmu len z len z
A.Jen
Where is everyone? Nikuko's fingers are waiting to hold you, Nikuko's hands are waiting to caress you, Nikuko's long neck reaches towards you, Nikuko's lips engulf you, Nikuko's legs wrap around you, Nikuko open hirself to you, Nikuko begs you to open yourself, Nikuko begs
not like a native
not like a black haired woman with paled native cheekbones
she begs, though, even though she's not like a Native or the native with the pail
with the hole in it Henry.
Where is she, begging from
not a soapbox because that's for other kinds of street people,
maybe a corner
but are their corners here- where we are, now?
I don't think so...
but begging. but really wanting it. but wanting nothing more than it. but wanting it more than anything in hir life. but dreaming and living the wanting of it. but unable to sleep for the wanting of it. but unable to drink for the wanting of it. unable to eat for it. but doing only the wanting of it. but others. but others noting wasting away, others wasting away. hir for the wanting of it. unable to work, this writing for the wanting, speaking for the wanting. the boring of others, boring others. for the desire, for the wanting of it. the hunger the thirst of it. the exhaustion of it. the drug the addiction the obsession the compulsion of it. the drive the instinct of it. for the wanting of it. hir for the wanting. want hir.
but begging. but really wanting it. but wanting nothing more than it. but wanting it more than anything in hir life. but dreaming and living the wanting of it. but unable to sleep for the wanting of it. but unable to drink for the wanting of it. unable to eat for it. but doing only the wanting of it. but others. but others noting wasting away, others wasting away. hir for the wanting of it. unable to work, this writing for the wanting, speaking for the wanting. the boring of others, boring others. for the desire, for the wanting of it. the hunger the thirst of it. the exhaustion of it. the drug the addiction the obsession the compulsion of it. the drive the instinct of it. for the wanting of it. hir for the wanting. want hir.
Sally is a collaborator. Hush. Hush.
but wanting to tell the secret, wanting to expose the secret, but wanting to say something, or say something else, but desperate to just talk to someone, anyone, just saying the smallest thing, just having a smile on someone's face, that is not too much to ask, desiring, wanting that smile, wanting just to hear a friendly voice in return, that's never too much to ask, wanting to say the secret, wanting the secret said, it's something i have that i can give you, i can give you this lovely thing for you
Nikuko begs that you enter, Jennifer
begs for you to enter, Alan begs for you to enter,
Cybele enters, entered
Enters symbols clash drums beat louder men fall flat on already smashed and bloodied faces. Pick up traces lions are anxious to go through paces leap across the sky. Ride Cybele ride.
Sally switched the Angel-Decay Devices around and George See
lost the last vestiges of confusion floating across his ears.
They remained clogged. Three arrows from the Fifth Horseman
nullified yesterday's postponed fake chicken dinner.
woke up perfectly ready to continue the dream.
Ariadne's breathless, but so's Jennifer. Unable to breathe. Jennifer's pregnant = for two years they say, could it be the child, asphyxiating hir, siphoning off the air she needs. This baby needs to be born, Jen. It's time.
say what
say what
A say what
B say what
C say what
D say what
E say what
F say what
G say what
H say what
I say what what what what what what what why
J say what
K say what
L say what
M say what
N say what
O say can you see what
P say what
Q say what
R say what
S say what
T say what
U say what what what what what what who
V say
W say what
X say what
Y say what
Z say
O C H R E
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaaaah ha hhaa
excuse me
a
bearded lady
brings him
financial ruin
when the agreed-upon
day demands his soul
a wager
thinking he
is awaiting Venus
who appears modern
with frequent
melodies
to be in the secret
run out of words
shake the dust to wake up
Maybe it's time to end VALES OF GORAL and move on to other sites; this is long, exhausted, the characters have disappeared, lost their edge, there is an odor of musk and detritus, all posts are at a literal loss, exhaustion; let us quiet ourselves, let us move elsewhere, let something else emerge, let the fantasy die ...
Glumly, two horsemen on great gallant steeds slowly made their weary way through the dark forest. A chill breeze bit into the riders as they huddled on their mounts. Eventually, as if they could go no further, the riders reined up in a clearing and dismounted. In minutes they had a fire going and were warming themselves as they prepared a scant meal.
"T'is many miles we've gone, Glarn," said one of the men. He appeared to be the older, his beard dashed with grey.
"Ay, and many more we must ride, Glefty," grunted Glarn. He tossed another log onto the fire. With that the two fell quiet, pulling their cloaks close against the cold.
Suddenly, with feral awareness, the two men sat up, their hands on the hilts of their swords. Horses!
Bursting into the clearing came a clutch of fierce horses, their riders grim and determined. Glinting swords drawn, Glarn and Glefty rose and faced the newcomers defiantly.
"Who do we find here in the Glade of Glendale?" demanded one of the riders.
"Two travellers from Glep," answered Glarn, unfazed by the band of warriors surrounding him and Glefty.
"And where does your route take you, Glepians?"
"We head for Gloodo. If it's any of your business," Glarn sneered. Some of the horsemen grumbled at the temerity.
"We are the king's men. Anything that happens here in his forest is our business," replied the leader of the horsemen.
"You are Gline's men?"
"Ay. I am called Glorro. And who are you?"
"I am Glarn."
"Glarn!" A murmur ran through the troop of riders.
"And this is my comrade, Glefty," added Glarn.
"The Prince of Glundo salutes you," Glefty uttered solemnly.
"We are honoured by your presence, Glefty," said Glorro. "We thought you were lost in the Mountains of Glondor, Glarn."
"It nearly happened," Glefty put in with a growl.
"We met resistance there," said Glarn. "Fortunately," he went on, wielding his weapon, "the Glorious Sword of Glikkon was able to ward off the attack."
"Ah yes, the Glorious Sword of Glikkon."
"The very one fashioned by Glaxxi himself in his magical smithy in the Land of Glokscoddel."
"Yes, and I see it still bears the Amulet of Gludglingdeeglattpoglaglaglaglaglaglayglaglatissgloowoyall."
"Yes, it still bears that amulet known through all the world as Gludglingdeeglattpoglaglaglaglaglaglayglaglatissgloowoyall."
"The name of the amulet Gludglingdeeglattpoglaglaglagla-gla-glay-glaglatissgloowoyall, amulet created by the great wizard Glooardledardlebargleglumgleegleeglipsofremon, shall remain on people's lips forever. It is good to see you two have gotten through. The situation is bad."
Looking back I realise I was too rash, threw my limbs into the ring too early, head still beating on a plate for J. She's just a kid still, what would she want with all that offal and fresh joint of Scribe?
I cannot look at her now and see Julu. Could I ever? They're like traffic lights: red, amber, green flashing from Nikuko, Julu, Jennifer then back through Nik & Julu again. All the time on either side of the road the belisha beacons Cybele and Alan wink on and off, off and on until I can no longer remember when it will be safe to cross the road.
I can't say anything to smooth your journey as you stumble round the streets of your own dead dreams. But for myself, I say only this - I LOOKED, I LOVED AND WHEN I LOOKED BACK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR I WAS STILL THERE.
Looking back into a mirror and seeing oneself
is a constant close to satori; don't forget
the magatama, curved jewel of the world, the sword
of the emperor, the mirror at the heart of the shrine
returning yourself to yourself, always, forever:
you're bound, fetishized within you, always, forever;
you're bound
Dead and dying words:
Honour
Respect
Dignity
Love
Care
Integrity
Look them up not in the dictionary, not in the mirror, not even in your heart, Look for these words in your soul,and if you find then, re-define them and find a way to use them. They are endangered species.
Dear Trad
When you wrote "head still beating" did you, by any chance mean "heart still beating" or perhaps you did mean head?
Yrs slightly confused
Maz
ma mb mc md me mf mg mh mi mj mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx still my begging heart mz
we begin the closing-down as stars burn out, there are movements of satellites, moons, stations, meteors, black holes, galaxies, galactic clumps, quasars, nebula, planets, neutron stars,